We’re past the three week point of the fast now, and I find I’m actually becoming used to the feeling of having an empty stomach, something I never imagined would happen, given my absolute adoration of food and eating.
I must say, though, that the psychological impact of abstaining is beginning to take its toll. It may be rough on the body, but after a time it becomes seriously devastating to the psyche. We have to remind ourselves often now that we will, indeed, eat again. Yet it’s getting tougher by the day to combat the negative, panicked mindset that is pushing us toward caving.
William has pretty much decided that the fast ends at thirty days for him. I can’t blame him, as he seems to be dropping weight more quickly than I, and will probably look quite skeletal after forty days. Perhaps it will end at thirty days for me as well, but I’m still trying to buoy myself up for the full stretch. My health demands it. My birthday is this weekend, too, which may weaken my resolve a little. Not that I can break the fast then anyway—it takes over a week to come off—but not celebrating a birthday will certainly be a mental challenge. It’s an ingrained thing.
As far as symptoms go, there’s been a few interesting developments. Over the past week we’ve been experiencing some pretty intense cigarette cravings. It’s been ten weeks since we gave up the smokes, so obviously the cravings are a result of the residual toxins being mobilized. This fasting ought to ensure that we’ve quit for good, since all the tar, nicotine and hundred other poisons will have been purged out of the system.
In addition, my color has improved immensely. I am looking less like a pasty, yellowed walking corpse, and more like a healthy living organism. The whites of my eyes are whiter, and, for an added bonus, my laugh lines and many small others are disappearing. The black stain under my eyes—that you will see under many people’s eyes and that is a result of toxins and dehydration—is also now non-existent. To date I have shed in the vicinity of twenty pounds, and all in all, I’m looking much, much better. And feeling it too.
With the exception of my head, of course.
There’s only two weeks and three days to go. Here’s hoping I can master the mindset long enough to make it through.